Bloopers in Church Bulletins
- Due to Brother Williams' illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
- Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
- On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD; Dr. Hargreaves is better.
- Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
- Sermon Outline:
I. Delineate your fear
II. Disown your fear
III. Displace your rear
- Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
- Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson's sermons.
- The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
- Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
- Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
- The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
- The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
- Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
- The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
- The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
- Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
- Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
- Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
- The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
- Ushers will eat latecomers.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- Near the top of the church bulletin: Soul Food Dinner will be served after morning service. Everyone is asked to bring their favorite dish. Near the bottom of the bulletin: Blood Pressure Check: Every first Sunday of the month.
- The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
- Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
- The ladies of the Church have cast-off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
